Everything has its proper time, right? My grandmother Elizabeth, whom we called Szivecském (which in Hungarian means My Dear Heart ), spent the last years of her life not putting anything off until another day. “Another day may not come, Lucinka,” she used to say to me. On the other hand, when life got difficult, her motto was “Kitartás!” which means “Endure!”. She knew when to act and when wait and just pray, trusting that God would do His best. She ruled Time.

How do we rule Time? Procrastination. Such a buzzword today. I quite like it. It sounds a bit like a word made up of my favourite words proactivity, and creativity. But it’s none of those. It’s just the opposite. It’s an iron ball chained to your foot, a vampire sucking your energy out. For me, it’s a bit like a ghost, something on the edge of my field of vision. It rarely comes to plain sight. I might think I’m going somewhere while I’m just walking around not being able to make up my mind…

It reminds me of The Tale of the Fisherman’s Wife. I’m like the fisherman’s wife. I seem to never have enough. I’m dissatisfied. Gratitude raises her hand in vain like an overlooked student at school. I am a slave to “hedonic adaptation”, as Petr Ludwig explains in his book “The End of Procrastination”. I am a dragon who hungers for more things, more jewels of experience. Do I want to sit on the treasures of life and live for myself? Will I endlessly read more and more books of wisdom and not apply any of the knowledge in my life and not share it with others?

Each of my dragon heads has its own priorities, interests, and hobbies. They can’t agree. The heads constantly argue about which will go first and which direction to take. They just don’t know where to go. There are so many tempting options! But what if we choose the wrong one? For we will have to give up all the other options!! Perfectionist minds despair.

Besides, we will only achieve all those tempting options when we cross that swamp of low self-confidence. What if we don’t reach the enticing possibilities in the distance? What if we drown in the swamp of self-doubt? It is safe on Procrastination Island, after all. No disappointment and no wasted effort.

But the air is poisoned on Procrastination Island. Nothing burns there. No enthusiasm, no gratitude for the talents and life’s gifts. There is darkness. And no energy. How do I get out of it?

This has bothered me for a few years now. Will I remain sitting there? Will I keep frantically walking hither and yon, exerting a lot of activity in many directions but getting nowhere and creating little?

I need to leave the island. Perhaps, tomorrow…